Rolento vs The Soldier
Rolento Schugerg vs The Soldier 'is a What-if? episode of Death Battle, brought to you by KingDedede8888. It features Rolento from Street Fighter, battling against The Soldier from Team Fortress 2. Description ''Street Fighter vs Team Fortress 2! Which Red Team comic relief will be blown up? Interlude Wiz: Every organization with a color in its name needs at least... '''Boomstick: EXPLOSIONS! Nothing's more badass than someone who just goes jumping around, blowing everything up, acting just as if they were actually in the military! Wiz: I was actually talking about a comic relief, but that still counts, i guess. Like Rolento Schugerg, the leader of the Red Berets. Boomstick: And the Soldier, the rocket-jumping war-veteran from the RED Team. ''Even though the whole RED Team is comic relief... ''He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win... A Death Battle! Rolento Wiz: Ah... The Red Berets, true heros. These patriotic warriors dream with a legitimate utopia, with peace and discipline, leaded by their incredibly skilled leader, the german-american Rolento Schulberg. Boomstick: To put this simply, an extremely strict military organization that dreams with a tyrannical dictatorship leaded by a power-obssessed maniac who blows up everything. Wiz: Thank you. Rolento is, well... Exactly that, and not to mention, his backstory. Boomstick: The man was once a member of the Mad Gear Gang, a gang that once tried to take over an entire city, by kidnapping a person! Well... Now that makes total sense. And then... Yeah... They were pretty butthurt... Wiz: So they tried to avenge themselves, kidnapped another girl, and... That didn't work so well either. The Mad Gears never really recovered... Which was actually pretty good for Rolento. He then found out about Shadaloo's ambition to take over the world... M. Bison: Of course! Wiz: Rolento decided he would actually take over the organization, and use its power to finally build his utopia. Boomstick: And that's when he proved something... He's actually useful! Wiz: Rolento's combat skills mainly rely on his weapon, a giant baton which he can use with perfection. Boomstick: I kinda wish we were speaking portuguese here... So many possible jokes... So many... Wiz: Not to mention, he also mastered military martial arts, and can easily dodge most projectiles, being better at backflips than Torrian's animation. Boomstick: He's so good at flips he can actually become SONIC! I'm starting to understand why Rolento vs Kano is popular "I didn't, tho"'- KingDedede8888 Boomstick: Fighting skills didn't work? Well, then fuck all technique! That's how he becomes Michael Bay! Wiz: Yep. Rolento carries an infinite amount of grenades, which can actually be used with technique, and connect with other moves for pretty useful combos. And he has also got knives, which... He can throw. Which... Is pretty useless, considering the grenades. If even all that arsenal doesn't work, he can actually run away, hide, and ambush the opponent later. Boomstick: Hey, but all that doesn't necessarily mean Rolento's an outright god, either. You know... He's... Insane. Wiz: Not exactly insane, just very stupid... Which is kinda worse, depending on the situation. And... Selfish, he considers himself an acclaimed general, when... As far as we know, the Red Berets have... Two members... And, well, one of them is Rolento himself. He actually says "To challenge me is to challenge my army"! The other, Ibuki, is sick of him... Not due to the fact that he's evil... Just due to his stupidness on their journey to Pandora's Box. But then again, Schulberg's not exactly evil. His dream utopia might be strict, but he also wants to let people live their lives, and give them freedom of speech. Boomstick: Too bad putting someone as a supreme leader has the same risks as electing Kanye West as the USA president. Y' know, accidentally burning the nation in a single afternoon. Wiz: Whenever people actually want to join the Red Berets... Which... Well... Isn't happening anytime soon, Rolento will be sure to give them a life of rules, freedom, and inconsistency... Boomstick: And explosions. Rolento: Now ready to commence the attack! Soldier Wiz: The year was 1968. Two major forces kept a long-living competition for power going on for power... The Gravel Wars had begun over a century ago, and the brothers Blutarch and Redmond had to contract a new generation of mercenaries to battle for the Gravel Pits their father had left them. Redmond had to choose someone with experience, destructive capabilty... Boomstick: And most importantly... No brains at all. So he choose the pile of insanity known... As Jane Doe. Literally. Also known as The Soldier. Wiz: Two decades prior, Jane wanted to fight in World War II, but unfortunately, he got rejected. For the various reasons. Boomstick: But, like a real man, he didn't give up. He bought a bunch of weapons, learned how to fire them by himself, and went to Europe himself. And he proved himself actually pretty destructive! Wiz: Easily defeating many German forces, Jane was awarded multiple medals for his campaign... By himself. Boomstick: Ah, the feeling of being a War hero... And then discovering that the War you fought on has ended 4 YEARS PRIOR TO THE TIME YOU BEGAN THE MASSACRE! Wiz:... Yes, he fought on WWII until 1949. Not only that, but he seems to have turned against the german ever since. And the German allies... And basically, anything that's not american. His ultimate hatred for mercenaries from other countries seem to be something that motivates on the battlefield. Shows the Soldier dominating some BLU members "You're like the Cyclops of Greek myth; except you are Scottish, '''and I hate you'!"'' "I'm gonna mail my boot to the Kaiser with your ass around it!" "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife." Boomstick: And on his long journey to exterminate anything from outside his country, the Soldier has some help from these beautiful babes, first of all, the Rocket Launcher. Well, aside from the basics of this treasure being pretty self-explanatory, there's also the Rocket Jump! Wiz: The Rocket Jump is a much higher than average jump, which is done by jumping regularly, and shooting the ground, however, he does get a certain damage penalty by doing this, but some strategies allow him to quickly jump through a whole battlefield very quickly, and with very few Rocket Jumps, which means less damage done. Boomstick: But he can also do this little trick unscratched! With one of the variations of the Launcher, the Rocket Jumper, he can jump around with no damage! Well... That means the rockets can't damage enemies too, tho'. And a pair of boots named Gunboats help decreasing the damage! And fall Damage? Pfft. That's why Parachutes are for. Wiz: There are many other variations for the Launcher, which vary in damage, accuracy, and firing speed. Boomstick: But that's not all! The Soldier's endless arsenal also includes two other kinds of weapons! Starting with the secondary ones! Well... There's a shotgun. Nothing special about it. Except that it's a shotgun. And another pair of boots named Mantreads also reduce knockback by 75%! Wiz: And the Righteous Bison, a sci-fi-like lazer gun that pierces through the opponent, so it's able to hit multiple targets with one shot. And then there are the melee weapons. They all have the same basic use of damaging: Surprise attacks through rocket jumping. Boomstick: And trust me, this shit can get really frustrating after some time. Wiz: All the weapons could be used for some pretty genius strategies, but it doesn't help Doe here, because, well... Boomstick: He's dumb. Really dumb. EXTREMELY dumb. Just so you can have an idea, his brains are around Patrick level. Wiz: That, combined with the fact that he's the second slowest of the TF2 mercenaries in running speed, could make him an easy target for trickier enemies. But fortunately, he has also shown incredible reaction speed, quickly turning around and killing a rival Spy in less than 2 seconds. Boomstick: Sure, he's incredibly racist, and killed millions, but... He isn't completely evil. Kind of. He has been able to actually befriend a scottish enemy... Alright, he's pure evil regardless, but that's caused by his... Much below average intelligence. Wiz: No matter how cruel he might be, The Soldier is always ready to serve RED and the U.S.A government. Without the government's permission. The Soldier: And since that day forward, every time a bunch of animals are put together, it's called a ZOO! One of the Soldier's victim's decapitated head he was talking tofalls from the fence it was on. The Soldier: UNLESS IT'S A FAAAAARM! Pre-Battle Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!! Battle Random-ass city "Couldn't we just rest now?" Ibuki was already tired out, she and her partner had been travelling to the Pandora's Box for months by the moment, and she had just realized they could just take a flight south and walk a little after that, which would have had prevented the recent fight to the death against Balrog and Vega. Her partner, Rolento, '''looked at her for a few seconds as the girl sighed. ''"100 pushups."- ''Said the veteran. Ibuki knew what happened the last time she refused, so she simply followed his orders. She was around 1/4 done, when Rolento heard an explosion. ''"Your fire-retardant ass just got DOMINATED!"- ''Screamed a voice. Schulberg knew it sounded familiar, so he went to investigate. Next to a now-dead Gibus Scout, '''the Soldier resisted against the B.L.U team by himself. He soon heard his former friend, a BLU Demoman laughing uncontrollably, while shooting sticky-bombs at the RED enemy. "I never liked you."- ''Said the Soldier, who Rocket-Jumped at the right moment, grabbed a shovel, and fell on the traitor's direction. ''"Burn! In HELL!" ''Shouted the Demo, before having a shovel shoved on his skull. Doe took the bloody weapon out of the kill's head, and walked away. Rolento watched the fight. The way that soldier fought had left him no doubt: It was the man who had killed thousands decades ago. He couldn't fail this mission. He quickly jumped out of his hideout. As the Soldier turned back with the noise, and pointed his Rocket Launcher. Schugerg pointed his baton at the mercenary, and said: ''"Devote your existence from the nation!"- ''Quickly throwing a grenade at the newfound enemy. Jane quickly shot the explosive, causing a pretty big blast. ''(Cues Megalovania) "No! You can take it from my cold, dead hands!" The Soldier quickly shot three rockets, all of whom Shugerg dodged. As the mercenary stopped to reload, his opponent punched him in the gut, kicked him in the air, and threw a few daggers. Doe quickly shot a rocket into the knives, whose explosion burned and threw back into the ground. As Rolento swiftly grabbed the daggers again, the Soldier tried to smash his head with a shovel when landing, but the enemy managed to barely dodge the blow, jumping away while throwing the knives again. The opponent Rocket Jumped to avoid the blow. While in mid-air, the RED member shot multiple rockets into the enemy, who kept roling to dodge them, and threw grenades back. The Soldier quickly grabbed his shotgun to explode all of his enemy's explosives, and shot a crit rocket in his enemy's direction. Being unable to dodge in time, Shugerg threw a dagger at the projectile, but still received splash damage, getting thrown towards a building. Doe rocket jumped towards the opponent with a shovel, but the Red Beret blocked the blow and countered it with the "spin-dash" attack. As Jane suffered from knockback, he quickly pulled the direct hit and shot his enemy with it, causing a huge explosion, which blew up the entire building. (Music stops) "You were in a big fat hurry to die, son."- ''Said the Mercenary, which soon preceded to laughing. "''Soldier! What is half the battle?"- ''Asked the enemy's voice. ''(Cues Skyscraper Under Construction) Rolento came out of the smoke caused by the explosion, and hit the Soldier with his baton. The mercenary took a few steps back due to the pain, as Schugerg jumped at him, trying to break his skull with the giant stick, but the RED member quickly ducked. "You have dishonored your entire organization!"- ''Said the Soldier, pulling the shotgun. The Red Beret jumped over the upcoming shot, then hit the Soldier with his baton a few more times, leaving the enemy dizzy. ''"Dismissed!"- ''Shouted Rolento, charging a focus attack to finish off the enemy. But just as he unleashed the attack, the Soldier blocked it with the Disciplinary Action. ''(Cues Volcanic Rim) "If God had wanted you to live, He would not have created me!"- ''Angrily groaned Doe. The two kept on, parrying each other's blows, the Red Beret's Baton against the RED's Disciplinary Action, as Rolento eventually threw knives which the enemy dodged and tried to counter with the shotgun, that was easily ducked, as the two kept on going. However, the Soldier eventually managed to hit the enemy's hand, disarming him. Jane tried to hit Schugerg with a downwards swing, but the opponent barely dodged, the Soldier then tried a horizontal blow, which the Red Beret rolled under, then stabbed the merc's hand with a dagger. Rolento jumped backwards and grabbed his baton again, as the enemy pulled his shotgun, and desperately shot the incoming threat, who easily dodged it all, then jumped at the RED for a finishing blow. Jane quickly grabbed the Rocket Jumped, and... Well, you know... Rocket Jumped. Duhh... When in mid-air, Doe activated the parachute, and started shooting rockets with the Direct Hit, which again, was easily dodged. The Soldier let go of the parachute, and tried to crush the opponent's skull with a shovel, which again, Rolento dodged. But again, the mercenary grabbed his Direct hit and fired it multiple times at his enemy, who couldn't dodge even the crit rocket this time. As he was surrounded by the explosion's smoke, Shugerg had an idea. ''(Music Stops) The RED slowly walked towards the explosion's smoke, laughing. "Now '''that's' what i wanna see!"- He said, expecting the opponent's blown-up bodyparts. But when the smoke cleared, he couldn't see anything related to the enemy, not even blood! Doe got nervous. He desperately looked around for his opponent for a few seconds, until Schugerg jumped from behind a crate. ''(Cues Wally's Theme) Just as the Red beret was about to hit the enemy by the back, the RED quickly hit the opponent's face with the Shovel. Rolento covered his bleeding face with his hands. The Soldier then grabbed the Equalizer, and pierced the street fighter's gut with it, then repeatidely hit head with the Shovel, and used the shotgun to shoot him all over his body. He then carefully grabbed both his and Rolento's grenades, then slowly put them all in the ground. "You just got dominated, Oktoberfest!"- '' Screamed the merc. Doe then aimed at the floor, and shot the ground, Rocket Jumping. The collision of the rocket and the grenades caused an explosion that destroyed multiple buildings around the city block. While in mid-air, Jane observed the chaos, and noticed Rolento's bleeding bodyparts flying towards his direction. He managed to grab the enemy's head, and when activating the parachute again, said to the opponent's detonated part: ''"Ich bin I just kicked your ass!" Conclusion (Cues Rocket Jump Waltz) Boomstick: Now that's gonna be expensive! Wiz: That was extremely close. Rolento sure had superior fighting skill on his side, i mean, he's from a fighting game. Boomstick: In par with that, the Soldier has definitely gotten experience with him, since he fought in World War II... After it ended, but he still defeated... A lot of guards and troops, most likely. Wiz: Schugerg was smarter, but that doesn't mean much, as he's not exactly smart, either. But he still had speed and durability, as Doe is the second slowest of the R.E.D team. Boomstick: And Jane was MUCH stronger and more destructive! Come on, let's compare how quickly they can kill a human. Wiz: The Soldier also had the edge on reaction time, i mean, how fast did he turn around to kill that Spy before? The fight itself was decided by one factor: Unpredictability. Boomstick: Sure, Rolento's skill might surprise you, but who the fuck would expect Rocket Jumping? Also, tell me, how many times has a rocket-jumping Soldier surprise-dominated you with a shovel attack from above? Wiz: What ended up giving the Soldier the ultimate victory is the fact that his arsenal is much wider, and with similar weapons, it's hard to memorize and predict which one has the specific stats which might help you handle their shots. Boomstick: Rolento put up a tough fight, but in the end, he was BOOMED to get Schooled-gerg. Wiz: The Winner, is the Soldier. Trivia * KingDedede8888 actually changed his mind about the outcome multiple times, as there was even a "K.O!" image for Rolento done before the Soldier was ultimately set as the winner. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:KingDedede8888 Category:'Street Fighter vs Team Fortress 2' Themed Death Battles Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:'Explosive' Themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016